Life with Uncle Dave

I’m a crotchety old Man living on Social Security and my wits in a trailer in the woods of Alabama. In this Blog you are likely to find ponderings and complaints about medical treatment in America, Stories about my friends and family, Rants about the economy and lots of stuff about J. Edgar Dogg, my best friend and the dumbest animal in Alabama.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I was just thinking.

Rash Generalization Number 471:
The fact that you find her to be the perfect woman does not preclude the possibility that she finds you to be a toad.

Rash Generalization Number 427:
There may be some form of life-after-death but the evidence is not solid enough to make firm dinner plans.

Rash Generalization Number 391:
The reason teenage boys generally outrun teenage girls has little to do with their ability to run.

Rash Generalization Number 342:
Suicide is the point at which your experiences in life have been bad enough and your expectations for the future are bad enough that the total is to much to bear.

Rash Generalization Number 201:
Conversations with the dead may not produce the same level of communication as conversations with the living, but you don’t have any trouble getting a word in and nobody completes your sentences for you.

Rash Generalization Number 675:
Having an well-ordered life is good, but having an unruly dog that smiles a lot is better.

Rash Generalization Number 114:
A loving cat wants something while a loving dog just loves you.

Uncle Dave

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Lunch


So off we went to Logan’s Road House For lunch. At the door this stern looking little woman said "How many." I said, "Two." and she started looking around behind me for who else was coming. I just stood there holding the shopping bag containing Ray’s new vessel (a large, ornate glass jar.) In a few moments she asked about the "Other" and I almost told her… but at the last moment I just said. "He’ll be along in a few minutes." So they went ahead and seated me.

When the waitress came for the drink order I asked for un-sweet tea and a beer for my friend. She said she couldn’t bring an alcohol drink for my friend without his ID and having thought ahead I pulled out Ray’s driver’s license which she looked at then went away. In a minute she came back with tea for me and a beer for Ray. When she set the beer down in front of the chair on the other side of the table she didn’t seem to notice the Jar with Ray in it.

I ordered a steak and an appetizer platter to share with Ray. We were over by the wall and the place was fairly loud so no one seemed to notice our one sided conversation as I told him what was going on with the VA and why we were here today.

The cheese sticks and fried mushrooms came and I placed them in the middle of the table within easy reach of the jar and started talking to Ray about things we did when we were kids with Dad. Between bites of food, I rattled on about how Dad was drunk a lot of the time but how there were some good times too. Like when he got Ray and me out in the front yard in Azusa and taught us several Judo throws and many defensive holds that he had learned from being a military policeman in the Army.

After a while Dad had gone back in the house to drink a beer and Ray and I had kept practicing what he had shown us. How surprised I was when I realized that although I was three years older and twenty lbs. heavier than Ray, he was six inches taller than me and almost as strong.

There was a fundamental shift in the balance of power that day, as Ray was no longer my tackling dummy, he was my equal. There would be no more fights between us after that. From that day on if we fought together it would be us, back to back against the world.

In a while Dad came back out and he had had more than one beer. He said he wanted to show us some more Judo stuff but what he really wanted to show us was that he was still boss. This he generally did by hurting us in some way. That day it didn’t work. Dad grabbed a hold of Ray as if to throw him with one of the Judo moves but I got behind him and put him in the head lock he had taught us earlier. I choked him out just enough to have him stop struggling and while he was trying to regain his balance Ray and me jumped in my car and headed off to the A&W for a root beer float.

About this time in the conversation I noticed that the people at the other tables were staring at me and I decided that it was time to wind up the celebration. I lifted my glass of tea, clinked it against Ray’s untouched beer and said;

"To Sam Cramer on the 22nd anniversary of your death, You taught us a lot even if some of it was by setting a really bad example. We miss you."

Uncle Dave (Ray's brother and Sam's son)