Interesting Day

I went to the Harbor Freight store in Birmingham today (It's a Cut-Rate tool warehouse sort of place.) I was in B-Ham for an appointment at the VA Hospital anyway and I had some coupons they (Harbor Freight) had sent me by e-mail that were for in-store-purchases only. There were a few things I wanted among them so I went.

The place was swamped. They were having a sidewalk sale and there must have been a hundred men and three very butch women in there doing their impression of the Army Ants devouring the Brazilian Jungle. It was like a train wreck, it’s truly disturbing but you just can’t look away. As I don’t get to Birmingham very often I decided to bite the bullet and jump into the fray. I eventually tracked down my five or six items and headed for the cash register or more precisely the end of the very long line at the cash register.

It was while standing in this line that I noticed a very interesting demographic. Most of the customers in the store were "old codgers." Really! At least three quarters of the people in that line were, gray haired, fifty to seventy year old retired looking guys. And it struck me that this place was our Toys-R-Us. We all had that look on our faces like a six year old whose rich relative has taken him to a toy store and told him he can have whatever he wants. It was a nice feeling until the harsh reality came crashing down on me that I had neither need nor storage space or for that matter, The ability to use, all the tools and toys I had found to lust after there.

And the plaintive cry "But I really, Really Want It!" doesn’t work any better on me when it comes from ‘Me’ then it did years ago when my ‘Kid’ tried it. Sometimes, being a "grown-up" sucks!

When I got to the cash register, I found those coupons that had brought me to this place had expired two days ago. I was somewhat disappointed and felt likely to get more so, when the assistant manager came over and said it would not be a problem and gave me the prices on the coupons. Now that made my day, and I didn’t have to yell at anybody. They have nice people working there. I believe I will have to go there again.

On the way back north I got lost and had a wonderful time wandering through the Alabama countryside ‘til I found my way home.

Uncle Dave

Tag Lines

My Mind is wandering again and I can’t seem to track it down to bring it back…

Here are some musings many original some plagiarized all make sense in their own twisted way. Some might make a good e-mail tag line. Feel free.
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A soldier is more likely to survive a confidently executed "bad operation" than he is a poorly executed "good operation."

I refuse to make my home in any ecosystem where I am not at or very near the top of the food chain.

A doctor is a person who believes that 3 years of abject misery is better than 2 years of sublime happiness.

No good deed ever goes long unpunished.

I feel like I’ve been et by a hippo and pooped over Victoria Falls.

Don’t be hooting with the owls at night if you can’t scream with the eagles at sun up.

Don’t let your alligator mouth write a check your hummingbird ass can’t cover.

Never poke a sleeping lion with a sharp stick.

Everybody’s good for something, even if it is just setting an excellent Bad Example.

If you feel like a Milk-Bone dog biscuit in a kennel full of pit bulls you have probably picked the wrong bar.

A shark doesn’t start the day looking for a human to eat, however if one jumps in his plate and does a passable imitation of food he will be accommodating.

At all Intersections in the swimming pool of life the alligator has the right-of-way

Everybody is part of the food chain, by some definitions, worms are at the top.

Laws of Physics:

Never argue right-of-way with a fast moving train.

The worth of the cargo in the car ahead of you is inversely proportional to your car’s ability to stop.

186,282.397 miles/second, not just a good idea, it’s a law.

Cause and effect, act like food, become food.

Uncle Dave