Dogg Report

So the old guy with the white fur (Well, mostly no fur at all) is sleeping again and he hasn’t put anything on the blog for a while so I will.

I’m J. Dogg and I run this place. If not for me nothing would get done around here. I’m the one who makes all the decisions, does all the work and keeps things running. Oh, he does some stuff, like the cooking and the laundry but I do all the important stuff like deciding what to watch on TV and surfing the "Net" till all hours of the night. I beat him in most video games too. Not bad for a guy with no opposable thumbs. I type faster than he does too. I think I probably have more friends than him as well, at least as far as my my-space account shows.

Actually, the old guy is not doing too well at the moment, his chest hurts all the time and it seems everything he puts in his mouth gives him heartburn. He won’t see a doctor unless he absolutely has too. And another thing. There is never enough money for everything I need around here (I’m still waiting for that bumper pool table) even the basic necessities are in short supply. He actually buys my dog food at Wal-Mart. Can you imagine that, Wal-Mart for Christ-Sake? I mean, no body should have to put up with that.

He does try though, I mean he could just leave me locked in my room all the time but he gives me the run of the house pretty much all day unless I do something he really doesn’t like, such as pooping in the wrong place. I just can’t understand the human fascination with bodily functions, I pooped behind his easy chair once and I thought he was going to drown me with that squirt bottle. By the way, I really hate squirt bottles. There ought to be a law against those things.

Anyway I got stuff to do and e-mails to answer so I'm gonna put this on the blog now.

J.Dogg