Tag Lines
My Mind is wandering again and I can’t seem to track it down to bring it back…
Here are some musings many original some plagiarized all make sense in their own twisted way. Some might make a good e-mail tag line. Feel free.
----------------------------------------------
A soldier is more likely to survive a confidently executed "bad operation" than he is a poorly executed "good operation."
I refuse to make my home in any ecosystem where I am not at or very near the top of the food chain.
A doctor is a person who believes that 3 years of abject misery is better than 2 years of sublime happiness.
No good deed ever goes long unpunished.
I feel like I’ve been et by a hippo and pooped over Victoria Falls.
Don’t be hooting with the owls at night if you can’t scream with the eagles at sun up.
Don’t let your alligator mouth write a check your hummingbird ass can’t cover.
Never poke a sleeping lion with a sharp stick.
Everybody’s good for something, even if it is just setting an excellent Bad Example.
If you feel like a Milk-Bone dog biscuit in a kennel full of pit bulls you have probably picked the wrong bar.
A shark doesn’t start the day looking for a human to eat, however if one jumps in his plate and does a passable imitation of food he will be accommodating.
At all Intersections in the swimming pool of life the alligator has the right-of-way
Everybody is part of the food chain, by some definitions, worms are at the top.
Laws of Physics:
Never argue right-of-way with a fast moving train.
The worth of the cargo in the car ahead of you is inversely proportional to your car’s ability to stop.
186,282.397 miles/second, not just a good idea, it’s a law.
Cause and effect, act like food, become food.
Uncle Dave
posted by Uncle Dave @ 2:09 PM
3 Comments:
I have to say I like this one best:
Everybody is part of the food chain, by some definitions, worms are at the top.
Somehow that makes me feel good because at the end, the little guy wins. :-)
Never poke a sleeping lion with a sharp stick. Reminds me of Albert and the Lion by Marriot Edgar:
There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That's noted for fresh air and fun
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.
A fine little lad were young Albert,
All dressed in his best, quite a swell.
He'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle;
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
They didn't think much to the ocean,
The waves they were piddlin' and small.
There were no wrecks and nobody drownded,
'Fact, nothin' to laugh at at all!
So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid, and went into the zoo,
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And cold ale and sandwiches, too.
There were one great big lion called Wallace
Whose nose was all covered with scars;
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of 'is face on the bars.
Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions-
'Ow they was ferocious and wild;
To see lion lyin' so peaceful
Just didn't seem right to the child.
So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showin' a morsel of fear,
Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And stuck it in Wallace's ear.
You could see that the lion din't like it,
For givin' a kind of a roll,
'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallered the little lad - 'ole!
Now Mother 'ad seen this occurrence,
And not knowin' what to do next,
She 'ollered "Yon lion's et Albert!"
An' Father said "Ee, I am vexed."
They complained to an animal keeper
Who said "My, wot a nasty mis'ap;
Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure? There's 'is cap!"
The manager 'ad to be sent for;
'E came and 'e said "Wot's to-do?"
Ma said "Yon lion's et Albert,
And 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!"
Father said "Right's right, young feller-
I think it's a shame and a sin
To 'ave our son et by a lion
And after we paid to come in."
The manager wanted no trouble;
He took out his purse right away,
Sayin' "'Ow much to settle the matter?"
Pa said "Wot do you usually pay?"
But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward
When she saw where 'er Albert 'ad gone.
She said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"
So that was decided upon.
And off they all went to p'lice station
In front of a Magistrate chap;
They told what 'ad 'appened to Albert
And proved it by showing 'is cap.
The Magistrate gave 'is opinion
That no one was really to blame,
And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms
Would 'ave further sons to their name.
At that Mother got proper blazin':
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she-
"Wot, spend all our lives raisin' children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"
Yes, but I said it in fewer words.
Post a Comment
<< Home