J. Dogg Makes Bail

Well, we got J. Edgar Dogg out of jail today. At least for a while. He has a court date between Christmas and New Years. The one ironclad rule we had to agree to in order to get J.Dogg bail was "No More Cheesy Puffs!" I just don’t know what I’m going to do about this Dogg!

Oh! And to make sure I don’t get bored, his new "Toy" arrived today. A brand spanking new 80,000 volt High Performance Guaranteed to knock your enemy’s nose deep into the mud "STUN-GUN." As a bonus they had sent along a sample size canister of pepper spray which I quickly put away in a high (hopefully puppy proof) cabinet.

I gave J. Edgar Dogg an extensive hopefully exhaustive list of rules about what not to do with the stun-gun and he promptly took it down stairs to play with it.

I noticed he was on the phone a little later and a while after that his friend Jason (the drooling Pit Bull) came over and immediately went down to the pool room too. A little while latter I heard a yelp followed quickly by a full-blown howl.

I quickly headed for the elevator to go and investigate but I couldn’t get it to come up to the first floor (apparently either J.Dogg or Jason had blocked the door open keeping the elevator from returning to the top floor.) I yelled down the stairs that if I was killed falling down the stairs he wouldn’t have anyone to bring him dog food and the elevator started right up.

Once I got to the pool-room I found two happy wiggling dogs looking very proud of themselves standing on either side of the stun-gun which was laying on the carpet. I asked what the devil was going on and they were only too happy to show me. Edgar told Jason to touch his tongue to the silver tips on the stun-gun and when he did Edgar stepped on the activator button sending a nasty 80,000 volt jolt through Jason making him do an excellent impression of Michael J. Fox in a stem cell commercial.

It was not a pretty sight. Funny as hell but not pretty. I asked Edgar why he would do such a thing and he stated that it was not on my list of prohibited activities for the stun-gun. I went over my list in my mind and realized he was right but said "It should have been." He said "It wasn’t." and I said "It is now!" He just looked disgusted and turned away.

I then turned to Jason and asked him if he enjoyed this game and he just cocked his head to one side and drooled some more. I’m pretty sure that Jason was not the pick of the litter.

I then retrieved the stun-gun went back upstairs and put it with the pepper spray leaving the kids downstairs to play video games and giggle about putting another one over on me.

That dog is going to be the death of me yet.

Uncle Dave