Puppy Trouble

Calling all Cars, Calling all Cars! Armed Robbery in Progress at the Jet Pep Connivance Store on Highway 77 West of Rainbow Drive. A short wrinkled person is making off with several bags of orange snack food! Use all Caution, He’s got teeth!
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Mr. Cramer, This is very serious.

I know it’s serious, but shouldn’t I be talking to a Doctor right now, not a Lawyer. Edgar needs treatment not incarceration.

True, but a Doctor is not going to be much help in keeping him out of jail, and that has to be our first concern.

JAIL! How could they put him in Jail? He’s only a puppy.

He’s only a puppy until the 21st then he’s a dog and subject to all the powers of the adult court system, besides since this is armed robbery we are talking about, he’d be tried as an adult anyway.

ARMED ROBBERY! He has no weapons, He doesn’t even have opposable thumbs, how could they try him for Armed Robbery?

It’s the teeth. The law sees them as "potential" weapons…

Crap! So what can we do?

Well we can try to get him into re-hab as quickly as possible.

Will that keep him out of jail?

Well, It should, but it’s real iffy that we can get him in to one in time.

Why? What’s the problem? I have friends, can get the money if I have too…..

It’s not money, it’s the other thing.

What other thing?

Like I said before, "The Teeth." Nobody wants a patient with sharp teeth. And Also….

What?

Nobody really knows how to treat an addiction to Cheesy Puffs.

Uncle Dave (J. Dogg's Jailer)