Guilty
OK! Today I have a tacky story. I’m not sure the right word is "tacky" but it’s as close as I can come without a thesaurus and that just seems to be cheating.
I went to lunch with Dale and the kid yesterday and we had a great time as usual. The kid got about half his food in him and half on him or the floor. All around we had a good time. Dale was complaining most of the way about how he figured it was probably time to change the kid as he was putting of that aroma that indicates elimination of bodily waste. I wasn’t really paying attention as I had not noticed the aforementioned odor.
After lunch and errands and a shopping trip through Lowes looking (at least on my part) for nothing in particular we made it back to Dale’s house and he started unloading various and sundry items we had acquired while we were out. Once again he brought up the subject of his son’s probable diaper condition and I finally listened to him and realized that it may not have been the kid who was the source of the offending smell. I suggested to Dale that the kid might not have been the source of the offense as I had been a bit gassy all morning and as I was used to being alone most of the time I had gotten out of the habit of curbing the release of possibly noxious gasses. Upon close inspection the boy was found to be innocent of all charges and was henceforth and from then on no longer subjected to gentle deridement and sly innuendo for crimes actually committed by the stinky old man.
OH! The Guilt, The Guilt. There was a time in days past when I would not only have not spoken of such a shameful topic but would have turned bright red at someone else’s mention of such things. Not any more.
Actually it was at least a little funny in retrospect what with Dale going on and on about the poopy little boy when it was the gassy old man all the time.
I told you it was tacky!
Uncle Dave
posted by Uncle Dave @ 5:24 PM
2 Comments:
well, we had some excitement this morning. an old friend named Kim (yes, the one you know) showed up in church this morning, so, naturally, we sat next to him. Halfway through the service, he started shaking and jerking and keeled over. He passed out, but came back and then passed out again. I said, quietly, we need a doctor, and the guy sitting on the other side stood up and loudly said Excuse me, but we need a doctor. Two nurses and two doctors appeared. We moved him into another room and called 911. After much testing and equipment, he was taken off in an ambulance. Joyce and Sheila followed in Sheila's car. I had an errand, so I followed after. Then we hung out at the hospital for a while. They finally decided that it was NOT a heart attack. It was a vaso-something incident -- basically something stressful in his body made him pass out. Sheila took him to get some food and sleep (the hospital gave him IV drugs, including morphine.) So we went back to our scheduled day -- but pretty rattled. We left Joyce's sunglasses in the restaurant (we took her boys to a late lunch -- about two hours later than originally scheduled...) we kept doing weird strss-induced stuff and saying 'it's been a stressful day!'
At least you were not scheduled for a colonscopy that day! :-)
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