The Dogg Report

J. Edgar has taught himself some new tricks. I have a water bottle that I use to spray him (It’s better than the Pepper Spray) when he doesn’t mind me, like when I tell him to go back to his room. Now when I point it at him he flops down on the carpet and plays dead. Sort of like I shot him. It’s cute in a very creepy sort of way.

He also has figured out that I wont squirt him if he goes into his crate (The Puppy Cage.) So now, instead of going to his room he slips in there until he thinks I’m not looking and then he comes back out and starts bothering me again.

By the way, about his room, you know the place I send him for punishment. Well, it’s got cable TV, a stereo, a DVD player with ever dog movie from Lassie Come Home to Benji, an AirBed, a full sized pool table and a Baldwin Grand Piano (He wanted Baldwin not Steinway because of the Renner Action) which, by the way, he never plays anymore. Now he’s begging for an air hockey game but that’s just not in the budget this month. Anyway, my point is… How is this punishment?

Other new tricks are; changing the settings on my computer chair so that when I sit down it sinks to the floor or tips over backwards, Changing all the presets on my TV so all I get is Home Shopping Networks, The Cartoon Channel or Religious Programming and last but not least, He drools on everything. We’re not talking water here, we are talking about thick viscous stuff that large insects and small rodents get stuck in. It can’t be removed by anything short of an industrial steam cleaner. Oh Yah! I almost forgot, he has decided that the perfect place to take a nap is my recliner. I can not figure out how he reaches the lever to make it recline but he does.

Other than all that we are getting along fine. He misses Ray a lot, (they used to go back in his room and shoot pool and talk about me behind my back), but he seems to be getting over the loss without too much "Acting Out."

I have other projects to work on today so that’s all for now.

Uncle Dave (Ray’s big brother)